Addiction & Problematic Behaviours

You might notice:

• Using or engaging in the behaviour more often than you intended
• Finding it difficult to cut down or stop
• Spending increasing amounts of time thinking about it
• Strong urges or cravings
• Needing more to achieve the same effect
• Spending considerable time obtaining, using or recovering from a substance
• Neglecting responsibilities
• Losing interest in other activities
• Hiding or minimising how much you are using or engaging in the behaviour
• Lying to people close to you about what is happening
• Continuing despite relationship problems
• Continuing despite financial difficulties
• Continuing despite effects on your physical or mental health
• Using the substance or behaviour to manage difficult emotions
• Feeling irritable, anxious or uncomfortable when you cannot engage in it
• Experiencing withdrawal symptoms when reducing or stopping some substances
• Taking risks you normally would not take
• Feeling guilty or ashamed afterwards
• Repeatedly promising yourself or other people that things will change
• Feeling increasingly out of control

Not everyone who experiences one or more of these signs has an addiction.

What matters is the overall pattern, how difficult the substance or behaviour is becoming to control, and the impact it is having on your life.

There is rarely one simple explanation.

Factors can include:

• Stress
• Anxiety or depression
• Trauma or difficult experiences
• Loneliness or social isolation
• Relationship difficulties
• Grief and loss
• Work pressure
• Boredom or lack of meaning
• Difficult emotions
• Physical or emotional pain
• Social or environmental influences
• Habit and routine
• Easy access to substances or behaviours
• Previous experiences of substance use or addictive behaviour
• Family history or other vulnerabilities
• Using substances or behaviours as a way of coping
• Difficulties asking for support

Sometimes the behaviour becomes a way of managing another problem.

Over time, it can become a problem of its own.

Talking about substance use or other behaviours can be difficult, particularly when shame, secrecy or fear of judgement are involved.

Therapy can provide a place to talk honestly about what is happening without reducing you to a behaviour or a label.

Together, we can explore the pattern, what may be contributing to it, what the behaviour provides and what it may be costing you.

Therapy may help you to:

• Understand the role the substance or behaviour plays in your life
• Identify triggers and patterns
• Understand the connection between behaviour, thoughts and emotions
• Explore stress, anxiety, trauma or other experiences that may be contributing
• Recognise situations where control becomes more difficult
• Consider what you want to change
• Develop alternative ways of coping
• Understand cravings or urges
• Develop strategies for high-risk situations
• Work through shame and self-criticism
• Improve communication and relationships
• Reconnect with things that matter to you
• Develop a plan for maintaining change
• Understand and respond to setbacks without giving up

Change does not always happen in a straight line.

A return to an old behaviour does not necessarily erase the progress you have made.

It can provide information about what happened, what was missing and what may need to be approached differently next time.

Counselling and psychotherapy may also be one part of a broader treatment plan.

Depending on the substance, behaviour and level of risk, appropriate support may also involve a GP, alcohol and other drug service, specialist treatment, medication, withdrawal support or other health professionals.

You do not have to decide everything today.

Start by becoming more aware of what is happening.

• Notice the pattern. Pay attention to when the substance or behaviour occurs, what happened beforehand and how you were feeling.
• Be honest about the impact. Consider what the behaviour is giving you and what it may be costing you.
• Notice your triggers. Stress, loneliness, conflict, boredom, particular people, places or times of day may increase urges.
• Delay the automatic response. If it is safe to do so, create some space between the urge and the behaviour rather than immediately acting on it.
• Change the environment. Consider whether access, routines or particular situations are making the behaviour easier to repeat.
• Talk to someone. Secrecy can make patterns harder to change.
• Think about what you are actually needing. Ask what the behaviour is helping you avoid, manage or experience.
• Notice what happens after. Consider whether the relief or enjoyment lasts and what consequences follow.

If your concern involves alcohol, drugs or medication and you may be physically dependent, seek medical advice before significantly reducing or stopping.

Suddenly stopping some substances can cause serious withdrawal symptoms and may not be safe without appropriate medical support. This can be particularly important with substances including alcohol and benzodiazepines

It can be difficult to talk openly about alcohol, drugs, gambling or other behaviours when you feel embarrassed, ashamed or worried about how you will be judged.

I offer practical, person-centred counselling and psychotherapy where we can look honestly at what is happening, understand the role the behaviour has come to play and consider what you want to do differently.

You do not need to arrive with a particular label or have everything worked out before asking for support.

If you think talking to someone could help, you can learn more about my approach or get in touch to arrange a session.