Grief, Loss & Life Changes

The experience of grief can be affected by many things, including:

• The nature of the loss
• How sudden or unexpected it was
• The relationship you had with the person or situation
• Other losses occurring at the same time
• Your support network
• Previous experiences of grief
• Unresolved conflict or difficult circumstances surrounding the loss
• Financial or practical consequences
• Changes in roles and responsibilities
• Feeling that other people don’t understand your loss
• Pressure to move on
• Major changes to your identity or future plans
• Existing mental or physical health difficulties

There is no timetable that tells you how long grief should take.

You might notice:

• Persistent sadness or emotional pain
• Feeling numb or disconnected
• Anger or irritability
• Guilt or regret
• Repeatedly thinking about what happened
• Difficulty concentrating
• Changes in sleep or appetite
• Feeling exhausted
• Withdrawing from other people
• Losing interest in things you usually enjoy
• Feeling anxious about the future
• Struggling with changes in identity or routine
• Feeling that other people expect you to be over it
• Finding reminders particularly difficult
• Feeling unsure about how to move forward
• Feeling that life no longer makes sense in the way it once did

Grief itself is not something that necessarily needs to be fixed. But support can be valuable when the loss feels difficult to carry or is significantly affecting your life.

Therapy can provide a place where you don’t have to minimise your loss, explain why it matters or grieve according to someone else’s timetable.

Together, we can explore what has happened, what the loss means to you and how life has changed.

Therapy may help you to:

• Talk openly about the person, relationship or situation you’ve lost
• Make sense of difficult or conflicting emotions
• Work through guilt, anger or regret
• Understand how the loss has affected your identity
• Adjust to changes in roles or routines
• Explore fears about the future
• Find ways of maintaining meaningful memories or connections
• Reconnect with relationships and everyday life
• Consider what moving forward might mean for you
• Develop ways of coping with reminders and difficult periods
• Make space for both grief and other parts of life

Moving forward does not necessarily mean leaving someone or something behind.

Sometimes it means learning how to carry what has happened while continuing to live your life.

There is no simple way to make grief disappear, but there are things that may help you look after yourself while you’re experiencing it.

• Allow the reaction you’re having. You don’t have to feel the way you think you should.
• Talk to someone you trust. You don’t need to have the right words.
• Look after the basics. Sleep, regular food, movement and everyday routines can become harder during grief.
• Give yourself some space. Grief can be exhausting. You may not have your usual capacity.
• Stay connected where you can. You don’t have to be social all the time, but complete isolation can make difficult periods harder.
• Remember in your own way. Photos, places, rituals, conversations or other reminders can help maintain connection with someone or something important.
• Take life in smaller pieces. You don’t need to know what the future looks like immediately.

Grief and major life changes can affect how we see ourselves, our relationships and the future.

I offer practical, person-centred counselling and psychotherapy that provides space to talk openly about what has happened, understand what the loss means to you and consider how you want to move forward at your own pace.

If you think talking to someone could help, you can learn more about my approach or get in touch to arrange a session.